Friday 7 December 2012

Will you still be by their side tomorrow?


“I never loved him, it was never love that made me marry him, I wanted to get out of my parent’s house. I wanted to leave that insane environment that put pressure on me. It’s 15 years now that we have been married and I have four kids for him, I tried loving him in the early years of our marriage but it is obvious that love does not exist and it cannot exist. Though I have never worked for one single day in the last 15 years because he provides me more than I need or ever imagine but I have come to realize never to jeopardize my entire life because of the little things I might get to benefit now. I regret ever considering meeting my immediate want without looking at what the future holds……..” The above words are direct statements made from a wife, mother and daughter, silently dying because she took the wrong step while she wanted to meet an immediate “want”.

Have we tried to take a second shot at reasons behind the decisions we are making, the man or woman we are thinking of settling down with. Are we making that decision for what we feel they will do or for whom they are?  That man or woman you want to marry, are you with him because you want to get married to a man and he happens to be the available man or because it is him you want to marry even if he was to be a woman and vice versa?

There are many suffering now in silence of the wrong decisions they made years back and unfortunately with such maximum awareness we have through the media and even experiences and events we have witnessed, this generation still tend to go in the same direction and even make worse decisions. This makes me wonder if really we are sane. A good description of our present generation is a generation that has all signals pointing to the direction but our curiosity still has a better hold of us. The question still remains, “Are we sane?”


Why are our men getting married because she is a size 8? Have they tried to look at her mum to have a rough idea what she will look like 10 to 20 years from now? If you don’t like how her mum looks now please don’t go for her so you don’t wake up 20 years from now beside what you hate most.
Why are the women getting married because he is rich? There is a season for everything and challenges will come which money wouldn't be able to conquer. Have you read the story of Job in the Bible, have you read the story of our Nigerian Politicians (The ones who existed for only 4 years). Please have a rethink. Have you asked yourself if 30 years from now he/she is on a wheelchair will you be proud enough to be associated  with him/her? If the answer is No walk away and don’t allow the present day joy make you sad for the rest of your life. It’s better to find things rough when young than when old because you have the strength to handle them now so be patient. Life unfolds in phases. Wait for yours.