QUESTION THEM, THEY DON'T KNOW IT ALL

Most times I wonder if there is a problem with the cultural belief that exists in some parts of the world for example Nigeria, where it is believed that whatever older people say should be what is right. It doesn't only stop at being right but it is naturally seen to be an order instead of it being an advice and little opportunity is given to weigh the other options available to what is being contested.  

Looking at this routine that has gained popularity over the years, it has been discovered that this has not only stayed within the immediate family or Community where this culture evolved but it has also become a routine in offices, schools, and worship places thereby depriving the younger ones a say in matters that might even concern them more.

This has become a norm just because they are older or put in positions of authority.
Have we stopped to have a rethink of how far this has taken us? We have practiced this culture for so long that it has not only left us on the same spot but it has moved some people backward so much that they do not believe in themselves, let alone independent in decision making. 

An average Nigerian child born and bred in Nigeria at age 10 can hardly speak for himself/herself compared to another Nigerian child born and bred in UK, USA or the rest of the world. No thanks to the environment that has made the Nigerian Child believe your opinions don’t matter, Parents have the ultimate say, if they want you to be a Doctor just because that’s what they are they go all out and if you don’t accept you go at loggerheads with them. With this scenario, it isn't the fact that they are Nigerians that is the problem but the environment in which they were brought up has changed them. One has developed in a society where the culture makes you a captive while the other has developed in a society where both the young and old can be heard. 

I stand to be corrected but i will like to attribute this killing culture to a major cause of child abuse and molestation in the country. Take for instance, the fact that your parents are older than you automatically give them the right to assign you to outsiders for you to become their wife, house helps, or prostitute. These children can’t be blamed because they have learnt over time that listening to older people is the way to go by even though, they have that sense of it not being right but little can they say.

There are advantages to such a culture but looking at so many examples and havoc caused by this belief I can say it has caused more harm than good and it has brought about people losing their sense of belonging ,self-esteem and are lost in the world of the unknown. Everyday you hear of people taking advantage of both young and old and then you wonder if these people are not wise forgetting that this people have a mind frame that is streamlined towards a particular direction which is now being used as a loop hole to get at them and take advantage of their vulnerability.  

What is expected of a child who has been taught that elderly people should always be obeyed and here comes a stranger who tells a child to do what is not right, and all sort is done to such a child. Do we say the child is stupid or such a child has only followed the training that he/she has received while growing up? 

What do we say to ladies who have always been taught that the husband is the head of the home and they should always be obeyed no matter the situation and here is a man who molests and beats his wife or even girlfriends, yet such ladies stay in such abusive relationships? Do we blame them for their stupidity or we encourage them that they are well cultured and tutored? Do we remember that it is said that people can't hurt you except you allow them. Does our culture train that we allow people to hurt us in a disguise of respect and playing obedient? Why don't we train our upcoming generation on how to question actions and understand why things are done and not just allow things to be done based on the fact that we are obeying what our elders have said? 

How many of us know that there are some things our teachers taught us that are wrong not because they are totally wrong but because they will never work in our immediate environment yet we have adopted it. For example, we were taught there are four seasons in a year, winter, spring, Summer, autumn and if I am not mistaken we have seasons like rainy and dry season in Nigeria. And so many have died thinking we have such four seasons in Nigeria but as children we dare not question our teachers and the brave ones that did were tagged "I too know". Who said you cannot question your teachers, pastors and even your parents? A lot of parents have destroyed their kids marriages and others are still in the verge of doing that all because they have the mind frame that they must be obeyed. HELLO PEOPLE!!!!!!! WAKE UP!!!!!

Please in as much as it's too late to correct these things in the generation we are in we can help the upcoming generation by supporting them and allowing them have a say in how their world will be. Never allow them live life the same way you lived yours in your generation because no two generations are of the same principles or making. In as much as experience is vital, it should be for guidance and not used to order people.

Written by Olumide
Editted by Sole