WHAT MAKES LOVE EMPTY

The saying goes thus "It is whatever you leave carelessly that a goat carries". If related to matters of relationships, it can be said to be, "It is the spouse you do not care for that another man/woman entices and get". 

Experiencing matters of the heart does not seem to be a stranger but understanding matters of the heart might be quite a challenge for many of us and as it has always been said that challenges are not meant to oppress but to make you press forward to achieve your desired goal. Based on the above statement it will then be correct to say understanding matters of the heart is worth looking forward to as we are sure it will lead us to a desired goal. 


Love is a word that entails a lot but it is commonly used while empty. It can be compared to a person's system's hard drive that contains mostly everything the system needs to function but this person mostly uses the hard drive when infected with a virus that clears the memory therefore leading to the person who owns the hard drive not to value it because it is already empty when used. 



Love is full of things like Patience, Kindness, Tolerance, Peace, Long Suffering and so many things. Love becomes empty of all these things when there is doubt. You see a wife who claims to love and says "I love you" every time she sees her husband and yet the first thing she does immediately the husband picks a call is to try and find out who called in suspicion of foul play. Such love is empty and all it does is paralyses the relationship. It kills faster than any disease. 

The only solution i can think of at the moment is this. "When You Love Never Doubt, and When You Doubt Never Love".


If you know of any other solution not to make love empty please post when typing your comment.

Choices we never made.

The little child with five nannies attending to him/her and the little child sleeping under the bridge without a mother have something in common which is the inability to decide which family they were born into. The child who bares John and the other who bares Wilson both have something in common, the inability to choose what they should be called as at that time even though we now have people growing up and changing their names but as at then when they were little such choices were never their's to make.

Walking down my usual lonely road while trying to go earn a living, rain pouring down heavily during that rush hour when everyone is trying to make it to work before resumption time. I can not but help notice a small boy of about five or six years old all dressed up in a grey trouser, white shirt and a little bit over-sized dark blue jacket which if am right is his school uniform, also participating in the rush of making it to school before it's 9am but now he is fully soaked with the down pour of the rain. He is still dragging himself in the rain without any umbrella and just right beside me on the road is another boy of the same age having the same school uniform on, seated inside a Mercedes-Benz S-Class licking a big stick of lollipop. 

The two different scenarios at the same time got me really thinking and that brought about questions. 
Did any of those two little boys ever choose their present situations or conditions?
Did one do something much better than the other?
If they happen to  be in the same class will it be easier for the boy who has just finished having lollipop to concentrate compared to the other one who will probably still be finding a way to get his clothes dry or shivering from the impact of the wet clothes?  

So many questions to ask and a few right answers to be given which leads to the summary that there are so many choices we never made but the good news is most of them we can change. We find ourselves in different situations that we never planned to be and instead of work towards changing them all we do is lament without doing anything about it. Ask yourself today, "That thing I complained about, what have i done to change it?" The family you use as excuse for not having a good background, now that you have grown up what efforts have you made to ensure that the next family that comes through you will not experience what you have experienced. 

Are we going to be like the young boy who despite the rain still decided to keep walking straight to school because he wanted to impact the choices he never had the opportunity to make or are we going to do otherwise and stay in the rain looking at the boy in the car and just having self pity without doing anything?

It's So Easy To Say But Not So Easy To Do

Walking through the lonely roads of a foreign land after a long day's work, rain falling and everyone in a rush to get back home and call it a day. I put on my headphones and switch the music to play. At the other end is a confused man who feels his life is turning upside down, seeking advice from his sister who recommends and calls a third party to give a short counselling session. After so much of encouraging words, there is a long silence and the response to all that have been said is "It's So Easy To Say But Not So Easy To Do". I present to you R. Kelly's 3 Way Phone Call.

Many of us have at some point in our lives being advised on what to do and how to go about it. Sometimes when listening to such advice you even get confused as to why you never knew all these stuffs before now especially if being spoken to by a smooth talker who speaks really well. You hear such things like 

"Try to be hard working"                                                "You have to be humble and submissive" 

"You need to forgive"                                                     "You need to love"

Bla Bla Bla................

We have a task to achieve and that is executing all of these things. Is it enough to just say go and excel without giving out the necessary tools and not only giving them but also showing how to use such tools. Many are with the right tools a few have been shown how to use them. Listening to those words makes one reflect on how smooth a talker one can be and how little such talks would be needed if only one could show it. Do we think communication will be more effective if we viewed examples of the advice people give? Even though everything does not work for people in the same way or fashion, with a proper example that is obvious, it will be easier to customize such examples to work for each person.

Let's look at some general samples. Dad tells son " Learn to forgive and the same Dad has being in the same house with Mum for 5 days without talking to each other". Isn't that an irony. A very common one. Our boss at work always says "Try not to be lazy, come to work early, plan ahead and be hard working". The same boss at 10am is at the golf club on a Monday morning, gets to work 1pm and just starts preparing in a rush for a meeting that is scheduled for 2pm. In the real sense of it, are such advises gotten from such people effective? Let's think about it. In any area of our present life how much effort have we tried to put into doing first before saying rather than saying before doing? 

My own opinion is advises will be much more easier to accept and execute if the adviser does first before saying. 

What do you think? Comment.